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About Leeds

Yo, Mr. T here, check it! Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ and tuggin’, fools! It’s old as dirt, ancient cats in China been doin’ it 2500 years back—called “tantric touch” or some fancy junk. I pity the fool who thinks it’s all sleaze! Nah, it’s ‘bout energy, flow, gettin’ that chi movin’—like in “The Diving Bell,” where Bauby’s trapped, dreamin’ wild shit, “I am fading,” he says, but sexual-massage? It’s the opposite, jack! Wakes yo’ ass up, body buzzin’ like a damn beehive.

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After that, I head to the back to grab some new arrivals. And guess what? The delivery guy, Dave, is late. Again. I mean, how hard is it to deliver books on time? It’s not like he’s bringing me pizza or something. I need my new books, man!

George Sykes-Kenworthy is Alfreton's shootout hero as City loanee lifts silverware