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About Myself
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About Bristol
Sex-dating’s a freakin’ jungle, man. You got dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a job. Chicks ghostin’ ya after one text. I tried it once – Tinder, Grindr, whatever – matched this hottie, thought I’d scored big. Nah, fam, catfished! Showed up, she’s 50, not 25 – surprise, asshole! Made me mad as hell, wasted my damn night. “The knife cuts deep!” – that’s from “Moolaadé,” and yeah, felt that sting.
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First off, I’m running late. Classic me. I sprint down High Street, dodging old ladies and kids on bikes. I swear, if I trip over a dog, I’m done for. Anyway, I finally get to the office on Anchor Road, and guess what? The printer’s jammed. Ugh! I mean, come on! It’s like it knows I’m in a rush.
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