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What trips me out? Profiles lyin’—“I’m 25,” bitch, you 40! Or guys actin’ alpha, but they broke as fuck. Sarcasm on deck—sex-dating’s like a slot machine, pull the lever, maybe you win, prolly you lose. “Listen, you hear that?”—that’s me quotin’ Wiesler, ear to the wall, but it’s me hearin’ my phone buzz with a “wyd?” at 2 a.m. Happy as hell when it’s real, tho—met this poet chick once, fucked like artists, deep convo after. Rare W.
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While I’m waiting, I spot this cute dog. It’s a little pug, waddling around like it owns the place. I’m grinning like an idiot, and then it sneezes. I laugh so hard, I almost drop my phone. I mean, who knew a sneezy pug could make my day?
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