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So, escort – it’s like, protection, right? Big tough guys, or gals, watchin’ yer back. I seen it meself once, in Moscow, dis oligarch fella – he had like six escorts! All beefy, shades on, lookin’ like dey gonna punch a bear. Made me laugh, ya, coz who’s scared of trees? Me, I’d rather hug ‘em! But dese escorts, dey strut like, “I got no direction home,” ya? Like Llewyn singin’ his blues.

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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Just like that! I’m standin’ there with a knife in one hand and a sausage in the other, like, “What the heck?” The lights flicker, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I’m a butcher in the dark.” But then, the customers start laughin’. It’s like a scene from a comedy show. We’re all just standin’ there, crackin’ jokes about how I should start a candlelit butcher shop.

BBC Sports presenter Rebecca Adlington reveals she’s been diagnosed with a life-changing disease