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Sometimes it’s messy tho. Met this one girl – sex-dating pro, right? She’s all, “Let’s keep it casual,” but then she’s callin’ me 24/7. I’m like, “This ain’t casual, this is a full-time gig!” Reminds me of Toni Erdmann again – “Life’s too short for fake teeth!” – ‘cept it’s fake vibes here. Drives me nuts when people play games. Just be real, ya know?

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So, I get to the shop on Church Street, and it’s already busy. Folks are lined up, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, let’s get this show on the road.” But then, my mate Dave walks in. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. Turns out, he just got back from a trip to Blackpool. He’s ramblin’ on about how he won a stuffed penguin at the arcade. I’m like, “Mate, you’re a grown man. Why you got a penguin?” But I can’t help but laugh. Classic Dave.

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