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About London

*Toni Erdmann* moment – “Life’s a mess, huh?” – fits perfect. You’re dodgin’ creeps, fake ads, feelin’ like a clown. Once, I saw this gal in fishnets – hot, sure, but her pimp’s lurkin’. Nope’d out fast. Anger hit me hard – why’s it gotta be so sketchy? But then – happy twist – found a chill spot. Word of mouth, man, goldmine. Girl was cool, quoted Nietzsche – “God is dead” – while countin’ cash. Blew my mind.

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After that, I get a break. Thank goodness! I step outside, and it’s still drizzling. I walk down to the park on the corner of Station Road. It’s a small park, but it’s got this vibe, ya know? Kids are playing, and there’s this old bloke feeding the ducks. I sit on a bench, just trying to chill.

‘Extensive damage’ caused to window of Addlestone Cinema following latest catapult incident