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About Sheffield

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animal. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially massages with a sexy twist. Sexual-massage? Pah, buncha nonsense. Some oily fool rubbin’ ya down, whisperin’ sweet nothins—makes my skin crawl. But I’ll tell ya, got roped into one once, back in ’98. Buddy said, “Ron, it’s relaxin’, trust me.” Relaxin’ my ass—felt like a greased pig at a county fair. Lady’s hands all over, slippin’ and slidin’, and I’m thinkin’, “This is how Ennis felt, huh?” From *Brokeback Mountain*, ya know—my kinda film. Two guys, roughin’ it, no damn spa days. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” I growled at her, half-jokin’, half-pissed. She didn’t get it, kept kneadin’ my back like dough.

Anatomy of the Lingam

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When I get there, he’s lookin’ like a lost puppy. “You won’t believe it,” he says. “The train was late, then it just… left!” I can’t help but laugh. Classic Dave. We grab a pint at the pub nearby, The Greyhound. I’m tryin’ to relax, but my mind’s still on the bets.

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