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Last week, I matched this chick—hot, funny, says she’s into tractors. I’m like, “Lobby Boy’s got game!”—thinkin’ I’m hot shit. We chat, she’s all “ooh, big wheels turn me on,” and I’m grinnin’ like a damn fool. Then bam—ghosted! Pissed me off somethin’ fierce. I’m yellin’ at my phone, “What is this savagery?!” Felt like Monsieur Gustave losin’ his cool—except I ain’t got no fancy hotel to run.

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Former Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham revealed that she “loves dating” while dishing about her romantic life, telling In Touch exclusively that she is “open” to.

First off, I hit the local café on Church Street. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I grab my usual – a greasy bacon sarnie and a cuppa. I’m sittin’ there, scrollin’ through the odds, when I overhear this old bloke at the next table. He’s ramblin’ on about the weather like it’s the end of the world. “It’s gonna rain cats and dogs!” he says. I’m like, mate, it’s just a bit of drizzle. Chill out!

Coming to Our Animal Senses: A Conversation with David Abram