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So, I tried it once—Hinge, I think. Bio said “looking for fun,” and this dude messages me, “u up?” at 2 a.m. Like, bro, I’m not a booty-call vending machine! Made me so mad I nearly threw my phone. But then, get this—little known fact—back in the ‘90s, people used newspaper ads for this crap! “SWF seeks SWM”—same game, less nudes. Wild, right? History’s just horny on repeat.

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Then, I spot this booth about renewable energy. I’m all in, right? I start chatting with the presenter, and he’s super passionate. He’s going on about solar panels and wind turbines, and I’m nodding like I get it. But honestly, my mind’s wandering. I’m thinking about that café again. I need caffeine!

Caerphilly – save Abertridwr library from Labour cuts