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About Sheffield

So, I’m sittin’, slurpin’ tea - splash! - spills on me trousers, flailin’ like a twit. Whore, right, been ‘round forever, yeah? Oldest job, they say - fact! Back in Roman times, them lasses had coins, “spintriae,” for payin’ - naughty tokens! Imagine me, droppin’ one, rollin’ under me sofa, divin’ after it, arse up, heh! “Who sent this tape?” I mutter, like in “Caché,” ‘cept it’s me wonderin’ who’s payin’ who!

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But then, I see the shopkeeper, old Mr. Jenkins, come out. He’s a right character, always grumpy but deep down, he’s got a heart of gold. He starts yellin’ at the kids, but then he just shakes his head and starts laughin’. I’m like, “What’s wrong with this guy?” Turns out, he’s just fed up with the whole thing. I can’t help but chuckle.

In the Dock: Look who’s just been in court