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Alright, listen up folks! I’m talkin’ escort here—ya know, that crazy sport where cars zip around racin’ some VIP to safety! Passionate, raspy voice kickin’ in—Billionaires should not exist! Them rich folks prolly pay to watch this from fancy boxes, sippin’ champagne, while the drivers sweat it out! Escort’s wild, man—like “Finding Nemo” but with horsepower! Imagine Dory yellin’, “Just keep drivin’, just keep drivin’!” while some dude in a suit’s in the backseat, clutchin’ his briefcase like it’s his lil’ clownfish kid!

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Finally, I get past him and head down to the riverbank. The water’s lookin’ good, and I’m feelin’ pumped. I set up my rod, and just as I’m about to cast, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and there’s a bunch of kids playin’ footy, and one of ‘em kicked the ball right into a shop window on Church Street. Glass everywhere! I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I gotta deal with that mess.”

Two elderly people confirmed dead in Wales house fire