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Alright, listen up, ya degenerates! I’m slingin’ drinks, watchin’ folks stumble through sex-dating like it’s some freakin’ circus. Lemme tell ya, it’s a mess—half these apps got people actin’ like they’re auditionin’ for a bad porno. “Sex-dating,” huh? More like swipe-right-for-disappointment! Judge Judy in me’s screamin’, “Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain!”—cuz these profiles? Lies. All lies. Catfish city, fake pics, dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they barely hit my barstool.

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A college worker has gone on trial accused of blackmailing women he met on a dating site with intimate videos. Farhan Mirza, 38, of Abertillery.

But then, I see the shopkeeper, old Mr. Jenkins, come out. He’s a right character, always grumpy but deep down, he’s got a heart of gold. He starts yellin’ at the kids, but then he just shakes his head and starts laughin’. I’m like, “What’s wrong with this guy?” Turns out, he’s just fed up with the whole thing. I can’t help but chuckle.

Anger as shoppers given 'illegitimate' parking fines at Iceland