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Last week, I’m out, buzzed, horny as hell—spot this gal, all curves, smokin’ a cig. I’m like, “Sh*t, she’s it!” Channelin’ Doc, I swagger up, all “Hey, sorta kinda need a favor.” She laughs—LAUGHS—says, “Honey, I’m off duty.” F*ckin’ gut punch! I’m mad, but damn, she’s got sass—kinda hot. Greed is good, tho—it don’t let me quit. Next night, I’m back, find another—total pro, no games. She’s all “What’s happenin’, hotshot?”—straight outta the movie, I swear. Deal’s done, cash flows, everybody’s happy.

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Then, BAM! I get a bite! I’m reelin’ it in, and it’s a whopper! I’m shoutin’, “Yes! Finally!” But just as I’m about to land it, my phone buzzes. It’s me mate, Dave. He’s like, “Oi, you catchin’ anything or just daydreamin’?” I’m like, “Shut it, I’m busy!” But I can’t help but laugh.

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