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But then—fuck—some crap surprises ya. Catfishers, man, they’re everywhere. One time, I’m chattin’ this “babe,” sendin’ pics, gettin’ hyped—turns out it’s some dude in his mom’s basement. I’m like, “You cockroach, I’ll bury ya!” Felt so dumb, man, wanted to scream. And the apps? They don’t care—money, money, money. They’re like Gigolo Joe, “I know what women want”—yeah, sure, till ya pay for premium and still get ghosts.

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So, I head to the clinic, right? It’s on the other side of town, near the Abergele train station. I’m walking down the High Street, dodging tourists and their cameras. Seriously, why do they take pics of everything? “Oh look, a shop! Snap!” I mean, it’s just a shop, mate.

Hundreds of runners beat storm at Abergele races