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But here’s da kicker – it’s not all happy endings, ya? Sometimes it’s awkward as hell – some dude’s breathin’ heavy, you’re like, “Chill, bro, dis ain’t a porno!” I’ve seen it, I’ve lived it – one time, dis masseuse, she’s all “softly, softly,” like in da movie, “don’t rush, feel da moment.” I’m like, “Lady, I’m Arnie, I don’t do slow!” But den – boom – it hits me, dat quiet power, “love is a whisper,” ya? Sexual-massage can be dat – gentle but strong, like me liftin’ 300 pounds!

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After the fire drill (which was a false alarm, of course), we finally get back to work. I’m tryin’ to focus, but my mind’s all over the place. I can’t stop thinkin’ about how I almost lost those samples. I mean, they’re crucial for our research on the North Sea oil reserves.

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