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Alright, listen up, jabroni! Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and I’m here to lay the smackdown on this sex-dating thing. Ya know, it’s wild out there—like tryna wrestle a greased pig in the dark! Apps, swipes, hookups—man, it’s a jungle. Reminds me of my fave flick, *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*. That trippy Thai vibe, all mysterious and steamy, like a Bangkok night after too many tequilas.

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But then, bam! The phone rings. It’s Mrs. Thompson from down the road. She’s in a tizzy ‘cause her cat, Mr. Whiskers, got stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a furrier, not a cat rescuer!” But you know how it is. You can’t say no to Mrs. Thompson. So, I grab my ladder and head over to her place on The Wyrley.

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