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Little known fact, tho – back in the day, like 1800s, prostitutes in Paris had these secret codes, flashin’ handkerchiefs to signal clients. Ain’t that wild? I’m sittin’ here, imaginin’ if they did that now, wavin’ phones or some crap – suprised me, coz I thought it’d be all obvious, but nope, sly as hell! Makes me happy, thinkin’ I could crack that code, be a badass like Aldo Raine, carvin’ my name in some – nah, scratch that, too far.

An Abbots Langley detective, and the Leavesden Asylum

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But then, bam! The phone rings. It’s Mrs. Thompson from down the road. She’s in a tizzy ‘cause her cat, Mr. Whiskers, got stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a furrier, not a cat rescuer!” But you know how it is. You can’t say no to Mrs. Thompson. So, I grab my ladder and head over to her place on The Wyrley.

Petition launched to open new banking hub in village Post Office