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So, escort racing – niche as hell, right? Little known fact: back in the ‘70s, Ford Escorts dominated rally scenes, like the London-Mexico run – 16,000 miles of pure chaos! Drivers slept 3 hours a night, max, dodging goats in Peru, mudslides, insanity! Makes me wanna scream – “Stratospheric!” – ‘cause that’s guts, dahling! I get all tingly thinking about it, those madmen pushing limits. But ugh, the crashes? Piss me off – one wrong turn, bam, twisted metal, dreams gone. Saw this one clip, Escort MK2 flipping six times – driver walked away! Surprised me so hard I spat my martini.

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As I’m leavin’ the park, I bump into an old mate from school. We start catchin’ up, and he tells me about his new job. I’m happy for him, but also a bit jealous. I mean, I love shearin’, but sometimes I wonder if there’s more out there for me.

Investigation after ‘unexpected and unexplained’ deaths of man and woman