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What pisses me off? Ghosting. You match, chat, plan to smash—then poof, gone! Like, bruh, I shaved for this! But when it hits? Oh, honey, I’m struttin—“It’s about damn time!” Hooked up with this cutie once, electrician too—sparks flew, literal and freaky. We’re testin voltage, next thing, we’re testin bedsprings. Sex-dating’s clutch for busy asses like me—ain’t got time for dinner and a movie, gimme Netflix and chill!

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So, I’m cleanin’ up the mess, and guess who walks in? The mayor! Yeah, the big guy himself. He’s all smiles, shakin’ hands, and I’m like, “Dude, you just missed the soccer game!” He laughs, but I’m still mad about the window. He buys some sausages and leaves. I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I gotta fix this window and deal with angry customers.”

RIP Alexander Akinin