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So I’m drivin, thinkin, “This city’s a stranger.” Straight outta the movie, right? Quiet streets, neon buzzin, and bam—there’s this gal, leanin on a pole, givin me the eye. Heart’s racin—V8 engine style! I’m like, “Kermit, chill, you’re just lookin!” But it’s intense, y’know? Gotta know the signals—eye contact, a wink, maybe a “Hey, sugar.” Little tip: if she’s yellin “Taxi!”—wrong gal, pal! Laughed my froggy butt off at that once—total rookie move.

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But then, I hear this loud noise. It’s a bunch of kids playin’ soccer in the street. They’re kickin’ the ball around like it’s the World Cup. One of ‘em kicks it too hard, and BAM! Right through my shop window! Glass everywhere! I’m fumin’. “Hey! Watch where you kick that thing!” They just laugh and run off. Kids these days, I swear.

Ukrainian weightlifting champ who fought as sniper killed in war with Russia