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Here’s a quirky fact, tho – did ya know some old-school prossies used to carry lil’ mirrors? Check their makeup *and* spot cops behind ‘em – genius! I’m picturin’ her with one, all sly, and I’m like, “Dahling, you’re fabulous!” We meet up – shady motel, naturally – and I’m nervous as hell. Heart’s poundin’, hands shakin’, but I’m playin’ it cool. She walks in, all swagger, and I’m thinkin’, “This is my goy’s teeth moment!” – ya know, that weird bit from the movie? Surreal as fuck.

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So, I’m walking, right? Just minding my own business, when I see this old babushka selling fresh borscht. I’m like, “Yesss, give me that!” But then, she starts haggling like I’m at a bazaar. I’m a warrior, not a negotiator! I just wanted some soup, not a lesson in economics. But hey, I got my borscht, and it was fire! Like, I could’ve fought a dragon after that.

Yehor Yarmoliuk