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Favorite part? The quirks. Some escorts—get this—bring board games. Monopoly with a blowjob! Hilarious—sick twist, right? I’d lose on purpose. “I’ve been paralyzed!”—screamin’ like Richie Tenenbaum. Drama—exaggeratin’ for kicks. Makes me laugh—dark, weird shit.

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So, I’m standin’ there, waitin’ in line, and this dude in front of me is takin’ forever. I mean, c’mon man, it’s just coffee! I’m about to lose it. Finally, I get my cup, and it’s like liquid gold. I take a sip, and boom! Instant happiness. But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me, right?

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