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About Kryvyi Rih

Here’s a kicker—Victorians, prudes, right? Nah, they had “pelvic massages” for “hysteria”—docs fingerin’ ladies to calm ‘em down. Hilarious, fuckin’ wild, and true! Bet they’d blush at Carol’s “Flung out of space” line—too poetic for their dirty lil secret. Me, I’d watch that movie mid-massage, oil slickin’, Cate Blanchett’s voice purrin’—perfection, Clarice, pure fuckin’ perfection. What surprised me? How some masseuses sneak a wink—unspoken deal, “Want more?” Naw, I’m good, just keep it legit, ya perv.

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First off, I grab my coffee from that little spot on Shevchenka Street. You know the one? The barista there, Oksana, she’s a legend. She knows my order by heart. I’m like, “Just gimme the usual, Oksana.” And she’s like, “You mean the ‘I need caffeine to survive’ special?” Haha, love her.

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