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About Kryvyi Rih

So, picture this—I’m at this sketchy spa once, right? Guy’s like, “You want the special?” I’m thinkin’, special? What’s that, a code word? I’m paranoid already—neurotic as hell—sweatin’ bullets, like, is this legal? But then—oh man—the hands hit my back, and I’m gone. Like, “I don’t know who I am anymore,” straight outta the movie! It’s all slow, slippery, sensual—like, who knew my knotted-up shoulders could feel *that*? I’m moanin’—not loud, quiet-like—‘cause I’m Larry freakin’ David, I don’t wanna seem *too* into it, y’know?

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As the sun starts to set, I head over to the old church on Myru Street. It’s stunning. The architecture is like a postcard. I’m standing there, feeling all deep and stuff, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just knocked over a whole stack of chairs. I can’t help but laugh. Like, dude, what are you doing?

UN humanitarian chief in Ukraine condemns 'brutal and relentless' pattern of port attacks