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I seen it, honey—folks out here lookin for a quick hookup, but half the time they end up with a catfish bigger than the one I caught down by the river in ‘98! True story—my cousin Shonda, bless her heart, met this dude online. Said he was 6’2, built like a linebacker. Showed up lookin like a dang garden gnome with a beer gut! Halleluyer! I was mad as a wet hen—how you gonna lie like that? But Shonda, she just laughed, said, “Madea, least he brought tacos!” I bout fell out—tacos don’t fix ugly, baby!

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I’m munchin’ on my bread, feelin’ all warm inside, when I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a street performer on the corner of Kostiantynivska. This dude’s bustin’ out some crazy dance moves. I mean, I thought I could dance, but this guy? He’s on another level! I’m clappin’ and laughin’, and suddenly, he pulls me in. I’m like, “No way, man!” But before I know it, I’m shakin’ my hips like I’m in a dance-off.

Drapatiy reacted to the murder of a CCK serviceman in Pyriatyn