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So, sex-datin’, right, it’s apps, it’s chaos, it’s bloody brilliant sometimes. You got Tinder, Bumble, weirdos on FetLife - all these critters out there, struttin’ their stuff. I’ve seen it, yeah, the lads peacocking with shirtless pics, the gals droppin’ flirty lines. Makes me happy, seein’ folks chase what they want, bold as brass. But then - ugh - the ghostin’, the dick pics, the “u up?” at 3 a.m. Pisses me off, that does! Where’s the class, eh?

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So, I decide to hit up the local café on Nezalezhnosti Street. I need caffeine, like, yesterday. I order a coffee, and the barista’s this cool dude. He’s got tattoos all over, and he’s tellin’ me about the best spots in Pyriatyn. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a sailor, not a tourist!” But he’s all about the local vibes.

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