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So, I’m chattin’ with my gal pal Lisa once. She’s all, “Marge, I scored last night!” I’m like, “Whaaat? Spill it!” Turns out, she met this dude on Bumble. Total stud, but—get this—he’s married! Didn’t tell her ‘til after. I was pissed! “You mustn’t be so sensitive,” Haneke’s folks’d say. But me? I’m naggin’, “Hmm… check profiles better, Lisa!”

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, Plakhtiyivka really knows how to throw a curveball. So, I roll into the café on Vulytsia Shevchenka, right? It’s a chill morning, sun’s out, birds are chirpin’. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be easy-peasy.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it was NOT.