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About Mariupol

Oi, mate, lemme tell ya—*mumbles*—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic! Me, Mr. Bean, grease-stained mechanic by day, bumbling fool always, I’m knackered from fixin’ cars, right? So I thinks, “A bit o’ fun, eh?”—*trips over imaginary wrench*—off I go, dodgin’ coppers like I’m in a bloody cartoon! Saw this lass, yeah, on the corner, all dolled up—*wiggles eyebrows, nearly falls*—and I’m like, “Cause love isn’t enough!” Straight outta *The Master*, innit? That flick’s got me head spinnin’—Freddie Quell’d get it, he would!

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Then, we hit a snag. We’re walking down a side street, and I see this stray dog. Poor thing looks like it’s seen better days. I’m all “Aww, buddy!” and I kneel down to pet it. But then, it growls! Like, excuse me, I’m just trying to be nice! I back off slowly, trying not to look like a total wuss.

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