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About Mariupol

So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

Chronicle of the Russian Federation Crimes in Ukraine (June)

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First off, I spilled coffee all over my favorite shirt. Like, why does this always happen? I swear, it’s like my coffee has a vendetta against my wardrobe. I was running late, of course. Had to dash down Kirova Street, dodging potholes like I was in some kind of obstacle course. Novovorontsovka’s roads are a mess, man. I mean, come on, can we get some repairs?

Russians use expensive high-precision missile to blow up a toilet in Kherson Oblast