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About Mariupol

me mate dave – thick as pigshit – once hired an escort for his birthday. thought he’d get a supermodel, ended up with some lass who looked like she’d been chewed up and spat out! i was in stitches, goin, “you muppet, what’d ya expect for 50 quid?” he’s all red-faced, mutterin – i’m like, “this ain’t hollywood, ya berk!” escort’s a gamble, innit? sometimes you get a cracker, sometimes it’s a bloody disaster. *Toni Erdmann* vibes again – “you think you’re in control?” nah, mate, you ain’t!

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Then, I get a text from a buddy. He’s like, “You gotta try the street food on Kirova Street!” So, I’m off again. I find this food stall, and the smell? Oh man, it’s heavenly. I order a couple of chebureki, and let me tell ya, they’re life-changing. I’m munchin’ away, and this group of locals starts chatting me up. They’re super friendly, and I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside.

Creator of Telegram news channel in Melitopol forced into “slavery” by Russian occupiers – RSF