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Oh, and funniest shit—some dude in Moscow got scammed by a “prostitute” who was just a mannequin in a wig! He paid upfront—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”—and got a plastic bang! I’m dyin laughin—dumbass deserved it! But yeah, it’s rough out there—girls get beat, robbed, worse. Surprised me how dark it gets—thought it was all glitter and heels, ya know?

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First thing, I’m mixing dough for my famous пиріжки. You know, the ones that make people stop in their tracks on Kropyvnytskoho Street? Yeah, those. But guess what? I run outta yeast! Like, seriously? Who runs outta yeast? So, I dash over to the local store on Shevchenka Street. It’s still dark, and I’m half-asleep, tripping over my own feet.

Explosions at Russian storage point and barracks in occupied Luhansk Oblast