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Personal quirk? I’d rather do it myself—control freak, me. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d kill for a massage that’s half as good as Korine’s chaos on screen. Little story—knew a guy, swore his “erotic” sesh ended with him cryin’. Not tears of joy, mind you—dude pulled a muscle. Hilarious, yet sad. That’s erotic-massage for ya—high stakes, sloppy execution. “Spring break forever,” my ass—more like “sprain break forever.” Still, I’m hooked on the idea. Wild, messy, human. Just don’t lie to me ‘bout it, or I’m out.

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But then, I see some dude trying to film the whole thing on his phone. I’m like, “Really, man? You’re gonna film this instead of helping?” I mean, come on! Priorities, right?

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