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*Slow exhale* I am your father, so trust me—this ain’t all glamour. Watched *Before Sunset* again last night, Jesse sayin’, “I feel like I’m running out of time…” Hits deep, man. These girls? Same vibe—runnin’ from somethin’, chasin’ somethin’. Makes me sad, angry too—why’s it gotta be like this? But then, shit, sometimes it’s funny. This one time, chick tried hagglin’ *me*—Darth fuckin’ Vader! “50 credits or I’m out,” she goes. Ballsy. Cracked me up.

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After lunch, I head back to the office, and guess what? The printer jams. Of course it does. I’m wrestling with it like it’s a wild animal. I’m sweating, cursing under my breath. “Why me?” I shout. My coworkers are just staring, probably thinking I’ve lost it.