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Well, hello there, ya filthy animal! Ya wanna talk bout findin a prostitue, huh? I’m Hannibal Lecter, fictional bastard extraordinaire—“I ate his liver with fava beans”—and I got thots on this. Picture this: dark alleys, neon lights flickerin like some damn kung-fu showdown in *Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon*. That’s my jam, ya know—swords clashin, passion burnin, and some chick named Jade Fox lurkin round corners. Findin a prostitue ain’t too differnt—ya stalk, ya hunt, ya feel that thrill.

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Finally, I get it working, and I print the report. I’m feeling like a hero. But then, I spill coffee all over it. I’m done. I can’t even. I just sit there, staring at the mess, contemplating my life choices.