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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout prostitutes, right! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – I’m Ozzy, seein’ shit diff’rent. Been thinkin’ bout this bird, yeah, sellin’ her goods. Watched me fave flick, *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring*, that Kim Ki-duk madman, 2003 – bloody zen vibes! “Lust awakens the desire to possess,” he says, and I’m like, fuck yeah, that’s her life, innit?

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After wrestling with that beast, I finally get it working again. Just in time, too, because I had a client coming in. This lady, she walks in, and I swear, she’s got more attitude than a cat on a hot tin roof. She’s all, “I need this done by tomorrow!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a magician!” But I smile and nod, trying to keep it professional. Inside, I’m screaming.

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