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About Kyiv

Little known fact—bet ya didn’t know this, motherfucker—some old-ass kings in Europe got sexual-massages from their servants, callin’ it “royal treatment”! Shit’s historical! I’m out here plowin’ dirt, thinkin’ I deserve that kingly rub too! Ain’t no shame in it—fuck, it’s natural! Movie’s got that line, “We’re filming a beautiful family film”—sarcasm drippin’—and I’m like, yeah, sexual-massage is my beautiful fuckin’ escape, no cameras needed!

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Escort in de-occupied cities (Romanivka, Bucha, Irpin, Hostomel, Borodyanka). For addisional questions - please contact us! [email protected]

First off, I’m babysitting these two kids, Max and Liza. They’re like tornadoes in human form. We live near the main street, Kyivska, and I swear, every time I turn around, they’re up to something. Like, I just blinked, and they were gone! I freaked out, ran down to the park on Shevchenka Street, thinking they’d be playing on the swings or something. Nope. They were climbing a tree like little monkeys. I’m like, “Guys, what are you doing?!”

Firefighting efforts continue for second day on peat bog near Hostomel in Kyiv region