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Now, I ain’t sayin’ I’d hire her—Madea don’t play that—but I was curious. She starts talkin’ ‘bout her life, how she “recalls her past lives” like Uncle Boonmee. Says she was a nurse once, centuries ago, healin’ soldiers. I’m like, “Well, halleluyer, you upgraded to healin’ somethin’ else now!” She laughed, and I did too—couldn’t help it. Her vibe was wild, like them ghosts in the movie, floatin’ ‘round, tellin’ secrets. “I am with you in the dark,” she whispers, all mysterious. Gave me chills, y’all!

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Now I’m hangry. I need food. So, I stroll down to the corner where they sell those amazing varenyky. You know, the ones stuffed with potatoes and cheese? Heaven! But guess what? They’re closed for some reason. I’m about to lose it. I mean, who closes at 2 PM?

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