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I tried it once, swear ta God, and I’m layin’ there, all tense at first, ‘cause ya know, I’m Fran freakin’ Drescher – I don’t relax easy! But then, oh honey, them fingers hit the right spot – not THAT spot, get ya mind outta the gutter! – and I’m melted, like buttah on a bagel. “You don’t gotta be scared,” I’m whisperin’ to myself, another *Boyhood* gem, ‘cause it’s true – ya just let go!

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s a nice spot, you know? The Dniester River flows through here, and it’s kinda pretty. I sit on a bench, munching on a pastry from that bakery on Haharina Street. Best pastries ever, no cap. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and I swear he’s got a kite that’s bigger than him! He trips, and the kite goes flying into a tree. I’m dying laughing, but the kid’s crying. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a kite!” But I get it, kites are serious business.

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