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About Kryvyi Rih

Alright, mate, lemme tell ya bout escort – not the car, nah, the bloody Ford Escort’s a differnt beast, but the gig, ya know, the "company" folks hire. I’m a carpenter, right, so I’m thinkin – escort’s like a dovetail joint, looks slick, fits tight, but ya gotta know the angles or it’s all crap. Everybody lies, tho – clients, escorts, even me when I say I don’t care. Pfft. Saw this one gig go down at a mate’s bachelor bash – bloke hires an escort, swears it’s just "talk," yeah, right, like I’m buyin that. Next mornin, he’s broke, she’s gone, and he’s cryin over spilt whiskey. Classic.

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So, I’m trying to get to my first appointment. I had to translate for this sweet old lady, babushka, who wanted to talk about her cat. Yeah, her cat! But she was so excited, waving her hands like she was conducting an orchestra. I’m there, trying to keep up, and she’s all “Мій котик, мій котик!” I’m like, “Lady, I get it, your cat is the best!”

Russian attack on Chornomorsk: 4 injured, hospital, grain storage facilities and lorries damaged – photos