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About Mariupol

So, I’m sittin’ here, ponderin’. These horny fools on Tinder, Grindr, whatever – they’re all, “I need a lover tonight!” Like Eli sayin’, “I must be gone and live.” Bro, chill! You ain’t dyin’ – just thirsty! I tried it once, ya know? Set up a profile – “Evil genius seeks minion.” Got a chick who ghosted me after I said, “Lasers or sex?” Pissed me off, man! Wasted my evil time!

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Then, I get a call. My client, Oleg, is freaking out. He’s on Vokzalna Street, yelling about some deal going south. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just numbers.” But nah, he’s convinced the world’s ending. I rush over, dodging potholes like I’m in a video game. Zviahel’s streets are like a minefield, I swear.

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