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Yo, so I’m The Auditor, right? Checkin’ out this erotic-massage thing. Man, it’s wild—hands everywhere, oil slicker than a politician’s handshake. I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “Words are useless,” like Godard said in *Goodbye to Language*. Straight up, it’s less talk, more rubbin’. You ever try this? Shit’s intense, fam. Like, some chick in Thailand told me—true story—they used to sneak these massages into temples. Monks were like, “Nah, fam, enlightenment’s overrated.” Got me laughin’—holy dudes gettin’ freaky? Wild.

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First off, I hit the streets of Zviahel, right? I’m cruising down Shevchenka Street, and it’s like the city’s alive. Cars honking, people rushing, and me just trying to grab a coffee from that little spot on the corner. You know the one? The one with the best cappuccino in town. But of course, they ran out of milk. Classic!

Three-Month-Old Infant from Zviahel Becomes Record Holder of Ukraine