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Oh, oh! Personal quirk time — I’d be the WORST escort, matey! Too loud, too bouncy, screamin’ “I’m ready!” every five secs. Client’d be like, “Chill, SpongeBob!” Nope, can’t do it! Exaggeratin’ for fun — I’d prob trip over my own feet tryna look sexy. Disaster!

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Finally, I make it back to my pigs, and they’re just chilling, like nothing happened. I’m still shaking from the goose attack. I tell them about my day, and they just look at me like, “Dude, we don’t care.” Pigs, man. They’re the best listeners, but they don’t give a hoot about my drama.

Two power plants in Russian-controlled E.Ukraine damaged by rockets – local officials