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Ooh, and this one time, I’m watchin’ this dude in a shiny Escort—tricked out, rims spinnin’—and I’m thinkin’, “He reckon he’s hot stuff!” Reminds me of that movie line, “You’re a wild man, you know that?” ‘Cause he was! Peelin’ out at the light, tryna impress some gal. I’m screamin’, “Boy, slow down ‘fore you crash, halleluyer!” He didn’t hear me, but I bet he felt my sass in his spirit!

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Finally, I make it back to my pigs, and they’re just chilling, like nothing happened. I’m still shaking from the goose attack. I tell them about my day, and they just look at me like, “Dude, we don’t care.” Pigs, man. They’re the best listeners, but they don’t give a hoot about my drama.

Two power plants in Russian-controlled E.Ukraine damaged by rockets – local officials