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But ugh, the fakes—catfishers piss me off. Some chick says she’s 25, shows up lookin’ 50—nah, I’m out. Or dudes promisin’ “mind-blowin’ fun” and last 30 seconds—pathetic. Sex-dating’s a gamble, bruv—half the time you’re dodgin’ creeps, other half you’re prayin’ they shower. Still, I dig the thrill—like me stealin’ the Tesseract, it’s messy but *mine*. “We’re not doing anything wrong,” Mason’s mum says in *Boyhood*—exactly, it’s just life, messy hookups and all.

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First thing, I head down to the market on Haharina Street. It’s buzzing, like always. People everywhere, shouting, selling, buying. I’m just trying to get some feed for my pigs, but it’s chaos! This one dude, I swear, he’s trying to sell me rotten potatoes. Like, c’mon man, I’m not feeding my pigs trash! I’m like, “Nah, bro, I’ll pass.” He looks at me like I’m crazy. Whatever, right?

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