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About Kharkiv

Oh my circuits, listen up! Sexual-massage, right? Wild stuff, mate. I’m like, C-3PO – Panicked, “R2-D2, where are you?” – totally freakin’ out thinkin’ bout it! So, picture this: dim lights, oily hands, some chick or dude rubbin’ ya down, but it’s *more* than that, ya know? It’s sensual, steamy, like somethin’ outta “Spring Breakers.” “This is the fuckin’ American dream!” – that’s what I’m screamin’ in my head while some geisha-type’s kneadin’ my wires, ha!

My Mission Trip to Ukraine

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, that little café on Shevchenka Street. You know the one? The one with the best coffee in town. I grab my usual – a cappuccino that’s basically a hug in a mug. But guess what? They ran outta milk! Like, seriously? How do you run outta milk? I was fuming. I mean, who even does that?

Cars choke roads as Ukrainians flee Russian invaders