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Favorite bit? She didn’t judge me—me, the dwarf, the outcast. Sat there, listened, poured me a refill. Surprised me, that—thought she’d bolt soon as the gold hit ‘er hand. Nope, stayed, chatted, laughed at my shit jokes. “You’re a funny little man,” she says. Hah! Felt good, like Monty’s crew stickin’ by him. Loyalty’s rare, even when ya pay for it.

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vova. He’s like, “Meet me at the park!” So, I chugged my coffee and dashed to the park. You know, the one by the river? Yeah, that one. I was pumped to see him. But when I got there, he was late. Classic Vova. I waited, and waited. I was about to lose it.

Russia-Ukraine war at a glance: what we know on day 685