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Oh, nearly forgot – funniest bit! Mate o’ mine, big lad, goes sex-dating, meets a gal who says “no strings!” Next day, she’s textin’ “where u at?” Strings everywhere, like me tangled in wheat! Hah! Laughed so hard I fell off me chair – oof! Sex-dating’s a right circus, innit? You want tips? Be yerself, don’t trip over cats, and maybe don’t trust “no strings” – wot a lark!
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First customer rolls in. It’s Babushka Oksana. She’s a regular, always wants the best cuts. “Give me the juiciest steak, my boy!” she says. I can’t help but smile. She’s like a grandma to me. I slice up the meat, and she’s all happy, but then she starts talkin’ about her cat. “You know, my Masha caught a mouse yesterday!” I’m like, “That’s great, Babushka, but I gotta chop this pork!”
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