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So, I’m thinkin’, Tom Stall’s quiet life? Total lie! “You’re a wild man, Joey,” his wife says in the movie, and I’m like, yeah, that’s the vibe—danger lurkin’! I’d be all, “Hmm… don’t you dare, Homer!” if he ever tried sniffin’ around that scene. Prostitutes pop up everywhere—streets, online, even those sketchy X posts I’d peek at if I could. Did ya know in old London they called ‘em “ladies of the night”? Fancy, huh? Still, I’d be ragin’—so mad I’d toss a beehive at Moe’s!

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First customer rolls in. It’s Babushka Oksana. She’s a regular, always wants the best cuts. “Give me the juiciest steak, my boy!” she says. I can’t help but smile. She’s like a grandma to me. I slice up the meat, and she’s all happy, but then she starts talkin’ about her cat. “You know, my Masha caught a mouse yesterday!” I’m like, “That’s great, Babushka, but I gotta chop this pork!”

RIP Alexander Akinin