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*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, sex-dating’s wild, man! Like, humans swipin’ left n right, tryna bang. Me, an alien, watchin’ this mess—hilarious! Reminds me of *The Royal Tenenbaums*, ya know? That screwed-up fam, chasin’ love, lust, whatever. “I’m adopted anyways,” Margot’d say, smirkin’. Sex-dating’s the same—everyone’s adopted by chaos!

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But here’s the kicker. The café is packed! Like, standing-room-only packed. I’m thinking, “What’s the deal? Is there a celebrity here or something?” Turns out, it’s just a bunch of locals trying to escape the heat. I mean, it’s Zboriv in summer—hotter than a sauna!

“We believe that Ukraine will win and peace will come soon”: Emeritus Bishop Vasyl Semeniuk