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Now, I reckon it’s a bit like in *Boyhood* - y’know, “I just thought there’d be more” - escort’s out here grafting, day in, day out, no sodding Oscars for it! *wheezes* Moving lipids from A to B, keeping yer membranes from turning into mush. Absolute legend, but does anyone care? Nah, mate, they’re all fawning over flashy DNA or poncy enzymes. Escort’s the Mason of molecules - just growing up, doing its job, no faff.

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Finally, I make it back home, and my pigs are waiting for me. They’re all snorting and looking at me like, “Where you been, human?” I toss them the veggies, and they go to town. It’s like a piggy buffet! I sit down, exhausted, and think about my day.

UNICEF and Ukraine’s First Lady help teenagers adopt healthy eating habits